Updates

(11/15/2010)

12:30 am

Dearest Readers,
So much has been going on in my life since the last time I've posted that I can't help but feel I owe an apology to my followers and friends. So I'm sorry; without further ado, let me blog...
My overnight job has been going pretty well and while I don't preferably enjoy it, I'm able to go a little bit further than tolerate it which is a work of God within itself. I'm still saving for college and a car so as long as I am doing that, I'm clinging to the distant hope that it won't last forever. It's not like I wasn't built for the nights--don't get me wrong. I like working nights; I've always had owl tendencies. It's just that when you don't get home until 9:00 in the morning (rather than 5:30 or 6:00 like in FITN), it doesn't really leave you much time once you wake up (which is around 7:30/8:00 most of the time). So that's been difficult. It leaves no room for social life with the few friends I do have down here. But I can't blame my night job completely; a series of circumstances that I'm basically ignorant about (luckily) have lead a vast portion of my main friends on different paths of life. I'm not a huge fan of painful change but I try to plow through it. While its been painful to say 'goodbye' (in a sense) to how things used to be, I'm also becoming more aware that I do have friends outside of my once tiny hemisphere. Everyday God is reminding me of the people who are in my life (especially at my church) and to rejoice in their nearness rather than lament the distance that is growing between me and others.

Anyway I said all of that sugar and salt to point out I haven't had much interaction with anybody but those I work with. That's been difficult. While I'm not a social butterfly and would prefer being alone most of the time, I do enjoy human beings! (haha, that sounded vampire-ish; take it as you will). Being separated from friends all for a few hours on Sunday morning is lame! And I only get to talk to my mom fifteen minutes a night and when I'm not sleeping on my days off. That's even worse *big crocodile tears*. My mom and I are super close so it's difficult this way.

I hate to put another straw of bad news on the pile but I'm afraid I have to. A few weeks back, I sent in my application for the Media school. I've been working, dreaming and praying towards this goal for almost two years now. I finally got word back from them, and to my sorrow they are unable to accept applicants for the spring semester. They did say they 'will consider' my application for the Fall (which is a 50/50 chance of acceptance). Of course I was pretty upset but for some crazy reason, while I read the email, I had this overwhelming feeling of peace. I've been exposed to many setbacks in my lifetime and through time I always see the benefit of God's perfect timing in them. I don't want to go to the Media school if it's out of God's timing. So I'm going to wait. I can do nothing else but cling to a distant hope that this just wasn't His timing, or perhaps He has another course for me to take. Either way, I'm open to His plans and His desires; they are all for the good of my future and future family. So yes, I have this overwhelming peace concerning the whole circumstance; I fight disappointment and even a loss of morale that I will have to be here for another year, but I know my God. I'm going to be okay!

In the meantime I'm thinking about taking some online courses and perhaps sewing and drawing lessons on the side. I was looking into some photography and drawing courses to take at my local college but that would be super difficult with my job (*sigh* the current ball-and-chain of my existence! If only financial aid grew on an immortal tree in my backyard!). The online courses and 'lessons on the side' seem to work better with my schedule. Which is good because I've discovered I have this hidden talent for drawing (if taught properly) and I've always wanted to make my own vintage clothes and accessories so sewing will be just the thing I need.

Which brings me into another topic of conversation. I've been researching fashion, make-up, etc. like crazy lately! A while ago I decided, "You know, I'm twenty years old! In a half of a year I'm going to be twenty-one. I can't traipse through this life wearing only jeans, t-shirt and dirty converses I've had since I was sixteen!" So I decided to start brushing up on how to carry ones-self properly. (I'm even trying to improve my posture whenever I think about it--which is going to take a miracle). It's a lot harder than it sounds because I have to start from ground zero. I'm in the stages of colors, patterns, textures and proper fits and how to pair those off properly. It's a lot of fun but it's also intense. I'm a bargain hunter (try not to spend over $5.00 on a single piece) and a vintage fanatic, so throwing those into the mixing pot is a nerve-splitting thrill. The fashion game is really all a hit-and-miss industry. So sometimes I get it right and sometimes I get it wrong; I just try my best and take it as it comes. Who knows! I may end up having my own youtube channel one day, teaching others how to do it. lol.

Lets see, is there anything else going on in my life?? I might be getting a facebook again soon (as soon as I feel it's okay and plug my laptop back in).

Anything else? Well, other than family issues (which we all have) and things in my heart I don't go blah-ing out for the entire world to see...?

Hm. I can't think of anything. I'm sure there is more so if something ever comes to mind, then I'll write about it. As for now, thanks for reading all of this rambling! I enjoyed writing it out. ;-)

With Sincerity,
~Rose